Back by Popular Demand

Actually no demand at all, but I’ve added the poll back onto the site.  I don’t think anyone missed it, or if they did I didn’t hear about it.  But, as Say Uncle says, “Remember, I do this to entertain me, not you.”  I think he only says that because “Powered by Spite” was taken.

So please vote on the latest poll.  I’ll switch them out and write really long posts about the results when I get bored and want to change them–every 4 or 5 months or so.

Stupid Lending Coming Full Circle

I have to credit a buddy of mine in Chicago for bringing this one to my attention.

You’ve probably heard about the workers in Chicago staging a sit in at the Republic Windows and Doors plant. Their beef is that the company is not paying the workers enough notice before closing, which is a violation of their contract. That sucks for them, but somehow the government places blame with…

Bank of America?

Earlier Monday, Gov. Rod Blagojevich, several alderman and Cook County officials offered their support for the workers’ protest and threatened to suspend business with Bank of America if a resolution was not reached.

How is it Bank of America’s fault that this company can’t run profitably?  Are they actually trying to coerce Bank of America to lend out money to a company that can’t repay it?

Uh, correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t most of this financial mess started when government forced financial institutions to lend money to people who couldn’t afford to pay it back?

The Return of Half

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted a Toonlet.  It’s not that I don’t have any material.  There are volumes of one liners perfectly suited for cartoons.  And boy do I know some characters.  It just slipped my mind for some reason.

This particular situation occurred on a night that began in an airport bar in Atlanta, continued on a trans-Atlantic flight, moved to a hotel bar in Limerick, then to a rugby match (sneaky with the flasks), some local pubs, a dance club, a miserably hot and humid train ride to Dublin sitting across from a guy who sniffed snuff every 45 seconds or so, a car ride to a pub out in the country with a driver who had never driven on the left side of the road, and another rugby match.

It goes without saying that most of us were ready to take a break from the sauce and sleep for a couple of hours.   Most of us.  Also, notice the new character–Mr. Soft Touch
After 48 Hours Of Drinking

KPD, DAs, (non) DUIs,

I’m going to have to try and be delicate with this one…where to start?

First the background:  A Knox County Assistant District Attorney, Samyah Jubran, was done a favor by KPD Officer Hakan Dururvurur when he let her drive home even though he thought she was too impaired to do so after a traffic stop.  What the commenters over at the KNS seem to be hung up on is the idea that she was done this favor because of her position and that the same rules should apply to everyone.

Yeah, that’s true.  But that’s not the real problem here in my eyes.  People get breaks all the time for a whole array of reasons.  Maybe it’s because they are pretty.   Maybe because it is raining and the cop doesn’t want to pull them over because he doesn’t want to get out in it.  Maybe the cop is really trying to catch people with outstanding warrants, not traffic violations.  Maybe it’s because the people pulled over are just some fun-loving guys being towed down a street by a truck and a rope with smoke and sparks coming off their skis but not actually harming anyone.

When these people are private citizens, that’s one thing.  It may not be fair, but it’s not much worse than a nice lady at a convenience store giving you free coffee.  Thanks ladies.

The real problem is that this situation leaves the hint that (if not caught by the media) the prosecuter receiving the “favor” would have owed a favor back to the officer.  It’s not that he let her drive impaired.  That’s a separate issue.  He could have done something as simple as allowing her to park in a tow away zone or letting her into the back door of a concert whose door he was securing while moonlighting in his off hours.  Maybe this favor is expected to be returned when he has arrested someone he doesn’t like and the DA is riding the fence over whether or not to prosecute.  Maybe the return favor is a nudge toward prosecution.

I guess what I’m getting at is that we should be less concerned with the fact that the rules don’t apply to everone.  That is a fact.  It has always been that way.  But when you or I get a break, it’s just that–a break.  We should be more concerned with the fact that favors done amongst those inside the system can so easily pervert justice.

It’s not a fairness issue.  It’s an ethics issue.  And I’d bet it goes on way more than we’ll ever know.

**UPDATE**

KNS released the video today.  To be fair, I don’t think this officer did her much of a favor.  She didn’t look or sound drunk to me, and have seen and heard many a drunk in my day.  However, it still “looks” bad.

Why We MUST Bail Out Chrysler

Because if they fail it could cause a depression.  At least that’s what one of their top execs, Jim Press, says.

“We’re on the brink with the U.S. auto manufacturing industry,” Press told The Associated Press in an interview. “If we have a catastrophic failure of one of these car companies, in this tender environment for the economy, it’s a huge blow. It could trigger a depression.”

I’m glad we have someone with his proven level of economic prowess in running a company into the ground to predict the economy for us.  Why couldn’t this soothsayer see the problems in his own company and avert them?

I’ll start looking to the execs of the Big Three for economic expertise as soon as I finish up getting investment tips from my uncle with his closet full of Beanie Babies.

Twittering and Running

There’s a group of Knoxville Twitterish types gearing up to run the Jingle Bell 5k here in Knoxville on December 13. Brandon over at Knoxify has more information, including team name and link to sign up. Oh wait, I can give you that here.

Come on out and run with us while you can still beat me. I’m making a comeback, this is my only race of 2008, and then it is ON in ’09.

The Black Friday Post

 

Black Friday Hottie Jaclyn Smith
Black Friday Hottie Jaclyn Smith

I saw a K-Mart ad for their Black Friday specials last night featuring Jaclyn Smith.  I have no intention of going to K-Mart any time in the next 365 days.  That is, unless Jaclyn Smith is going to be there.  This woman was hot when I was in kindergarten.   Now I’m old, and she’s still hot.  Not fair.

Anyway, there are actually some great deals out there from the emails I got this morning from Buy.com and Amazon.  Here are a couple of the best ones:

From Amazon

From Buy.com
This badass espresso machine for $90
2Gb Memory Card for $60

7″ Digital Photo Frame for $40

I’ll post some more stuff as I find it!

Best Thanksgiving List Ever

I’m not going to even begin to bore anyone with the old cliche’d things I’m thankful for. Family, health, friends, etc.–anyone can think of those. Besides, I wrote a nice Thanksgiving post last year. Nope, I’m going to get real. I’m thankful for a lot of things most people probably aren’t, so why not list those and make my Thanksgiving post a little different? Ok then, I will.

  • Nice ladies with coffee–I like nice ladies, and I like coffee, but when you put the two together you get magic!  Nice ladies with coffee just give it away sometimes (I’m still talking about coffee). Other times, they will break the rule that says “you can’t get $.59 refills in styrofoam cups” and let you do it anyway. This is especially helpful if you are driving to the ATL and are stopping for your 2nd or 3rd cup of the day.
  • Muscle memory–It’s frustrating to get older and not be able to the things you used to do as well or as fast as you could when you were younger. On the other hand, it’s nice to still be able to do them period.
  • La Gallina Turuleca and ZoboomafooLa Gallina Turuleca has been viewed 11.5 million times. I think I’m responsible for about 9 million of those.  It stops the screaming.  Zoboomafoo, while popular with the kid is actually a pretty decent show.  I was just saying last night while flipping through channels that Zoboomafoo is better than most of the other stuff on TV.  Which brings me to…
  • Rock of Love Charm School–I’m thankful for this show because it makes me thankful for so many other things. First, it makes me thankful for Rock of Love, without which this show would not be possible. Secondly, it makes me thankful for every ex-girlfriend ever. Yeah, even “that one” wasn’t anything like these chicks. And all those ex-girlfiends make me thankful for my current girlfriend. Sure, technically we’re married, but since we still like each other so much it’s more like dating, which I’m very thankful for.
  • WordPress–Not just WordPress (which is free), but all the free WordPress plugins and WordPress themes as well. What a great, easily extendible platform! I’m thankful more people are catching on to how flexible and easy it is for people to get things done on the web with WordPress. The more people are empowered, the easier it is for them to get information out, and we all win.
  • Free speech–I’m really greatful that we’re able to sit behind our keyboards and cry “Socialism!” when we see it closing in on us. I’m really not sure why we’re still allowed to do so. It’s probably because big government isn’t efficient enough to stop us yet–they’ll have to spend a few years doing a study, creating a department, hiring a huge staff, and creating some regulation first. Oh, and taxing the shit out of us to pay for it all. Of course, it’s entirely possible that they really don’t know that all this stuff they’re doing is socialism. I never considered that possibility until this week.
  • Space…Fight!–This is quite possibly the greatest Facebook app ever produced. It’s a game that has no apparent purpose and cannot be won. What’s the point? I believe the point is to see how long you can stand to play this game. Can you stand to play it longer than your friends? Out of spite, I believe I can. However, I’m getting some stiff competition from one Space…Fight!er who just won’t give up.
  • “Change”–This word has given me so many opportunities to laugh this year, and the hits just keep on coming.  Only in America can more of the same be marketed as change and be bought by so many. It reminds me of Mick Foley rasslin as Cactus Jack, Dude Love, and Mankind. He wore different costumes as each character, but once the bell rung you just had a crazy sumbitch dishing out pain, no matter the gettup. That’s change I can believe in.
Have a great, safe, and happy Thanksgiving!

Mellish Meter Revealed!!!

I’m going to go ahead and preface this post with a disclaimer–it’s going to get stupid and, as LL Cool J would say, ridicalous (misspelled on purpose for all you sticklers).

Ok, so I have a really bad habit of posting the Mellish Meter rankings on Twitter when I hear them.  What is the Mellish Meter, and why do I do this?  According to the WSB site:

The Mellish Meter is meteorologist Kirk Mellish’s assessment of that day’s weather. A “10” is a perfect day, not too hot, not too cold, no rain, a “Chamber of Commerce” weather day. A “1” is an ugly day with rain, sleet, snow, ice, or severe cold. A “5” is an average day. “4” and “6” are slightly below or above average. “7, 8, and 9” are good to great days while “2 and 3” are fair to poor weather days.

But here’s the thing…this is Atlanta’s weather.  I hear it while listening to WSB in the mornings, and I’ve been tricked more than a couple of times into thinking I’m listening to the local weather.  Several seconds of confusion ensue when Mr. Mellish tells me it’s raining while I’m looking out of my window at pure sunshine, but I usually figure it out.

I dont know if this is the Mellish Meter, but this looks cool
I don't know if it's the Mellish Meter, but this looks cool

Anyway, I did a search and found 14 mentions of the Mellish Meter on Twitter in the last 6 months, eight of which were mine.  That kind of kills an idea I was kicking around.  Because I don’t have enough other things to do </sarcasm> and am a nerd, I was thinking of analyzing the factors that could possibly contribute to the Mellish Meter’s readings.  My plan was to track temperature, humidity, luminance, air pressure, and other weather factors in Atlanta and peg them to the day’s Mellish Meter reading.  I have my suspicions that other non-weather related factors affect the Mellish Meter, and I would like to prove it.  For instance, I’d bet that a bad hangover day can never result in a reading greater than 5, no matter the weather.

The lack of Twitter activity around the Mellish Meter leads me to believe there is not much of a market for this analysis.  Solving the riddle would only satisfy my personal curiousity.  And let’s face it…I’ll move onto something else soon enough.