Change The Duke Boys Can Believe In

Change.

It’s a simple word. But it means different things to different people. To me, “change” sort of implies something is different.

Change” is powerful. It can alter the course of history. It could even turn a television show on its ear if given the chance.

Did you ever watch the Dukes of Hazzard? What a great show, huh? I remember one of the big discussions at school back in the day was over who was a better driver–Bo Duke or Luke Duke? If you remember, Bo drove most of the time. Every now and then Luke drove, but it was mostly Bo.

I was a big Luke Duke fan back in the day. I loved it when he drove. But was that really change?

They were still in the General Lee. It was still orange with an “01” on the side and a Confederate flag on the hood. Roscoe was still chasing them around Hazzard County. Daisy still wore short shorts. The General still couldn’t be damaged no matter how high they jumped.

Most importantly, Boss Hogg was still trying to swindle the good people of Hazzard and put the fruits of their labor into his own pocket, and the people of Hazzard kept on electing him.

You know, basically the same damn episode they showed the week before.

Change would have been Enos and Cletus patrolling the streets on Segways.

Change would have been Uncle Jessie cooking meth in the barn instead of making moonshine.

Change would have been Cooter getting elected to Congress.

Change would have been Bret Michaels singing some crappy theme song instead of the great Mr. Waylon Jennings singing a bad ass one.

Change would have been the Boar’s Nest becoming an after-hours dance club.

Change would have been something, you know…DIFFERENT.

But from where I’m sitting, it looks like Boss Hogg and his cronies still have their hands in the cookie jar.  So why do the good people of Hazzard keep electing them?

YEE-HAW!

Big Party Conventions Are So Boring

Too many big screens, flashing lights, and high quality sound systems. This is what politics looks like on vacation. This is enjoying politics as a show when you want to get away from it all. It’s as if Disney took over the whole process…it’s all too polished. It’s made for prime time politics.

Kane at the Libertarian Convention

I watched the Libertarian convention earlier this year (yeah–I was the guy who watched), and it was nothing like the DNC. It seemed like there was one microphone in the whole banquet room of the hotel that hosted it, and speakers passed it around. There was plenty of infighting, booing, Darth Vader sitting in the crowd during speeches, and WWE Superstar Kane chatting it up with the nominee.

There was also drama and surprise. No one knew going in who the nominee would be. The Democratic and Republican parties know their nominees (or do they?) long before the convention. These things are really not much more than commercials for the parties. The bobbleheads on CNN tonight were talking about how the speeches had been planned based on what network TV would be airing between 10pm and 11pm. I guess you don’t have to worry about that if your convention is being shown on C-SPAN, huh?

I’m really hoping the Clintons can save this thing by serving up some drama. Go Clintons!