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Some Funny Old Rugby T Ideas

I was digging through some old messages from a Yahoo! Group my rugby club used to use for communication, and I’m finding some pretty hilarious posts.  You don’t have to know anything about rugby for these to be funny, although the guys in the club may appreciate them a little more.

For instance, in 2001 we were trying to decide on a catch phrase for some t-shirts we were having printed.  There were several options.  Some were clever, and some were…not.  Here’s a sampling:

Bigger. Stronger. Faster.
Mostly Bigger.

Scrumming is one of the many services we provide.

It takes 15 men playing as one for 80 minutes to win a rugby match ……..hey can we borrow some backs?

What else is there to do in Knoxville?

Really
Ugly
Guys
Banging
Your sister

Rugby Players come with breakfast.

If it’s out there, we’ll catch it.

So what did we end up putting on the t-shirts?  It is actually pretty brilliant.  On grey shirts in large red lettering…

Knoxville Rugby

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In The Nashville Know

MCB is linking up to Jared’s post on things you should know about living in Nashville.  I’m not from Nashville proper, but from “out in the county”.  I have a few that need to be added to help the newcomer get by.  Nashville folks, please don’t take these personally…it’s all in good fun.

1.  Never, under any circumstances, pronounce the word “Demonbreun” without using three m’s.  The correct Nashville pronunciation is “Duh- muhm-bree-uhm”.

2.  Don’t freak out and ask for an autograph when you see a someone famous.  Nashville etiquette says that you ignore the celebrity.  There is a very good reason for this.   You need to be able to brag to your friends later that you saw a celebrity and didn’t care.  Don’t make a big deal out of seeing someone famous.  Make a big deal out of the fact that you didn’t make a big deal of it.

3.  It’s not a “garden hose”.  It’s a “hosepipe”–having the properties of both a hose and a pipe.

4.  When you see a funeral procession, pull over.  Don’t just slow down.  Stop.  Yes, this stands true for most of the South, but Nashville is a gateway city–the first stop for many transplants to the South.

5.  The 24/7 Horn Honking Festival that takes place at the Capital every few years is not actually sanctioned by the Chamber of Commerce.  That’s just a few concerned citizens who feel they shouldn’t have to pay a fee for the right to earn a living in our great state.

I hope these help.  Once you’ve mastered Nashville, you can move on to a bigger challenge, like Knoxville.  On second thought, just stay put–we like our peace and quiet around here.  It makes it easier for us to here the whispers of our County Commissioners plotting and scheming in the shadows.

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Red Light Cameras — The Real Enemy

From the KNS

Knoxville police arrested a man Sunday morning for allegedly shooting a traffic light camera several times at the intersection of Broadway and Interstate 640.

Surely I’m not the only one snickering at this.  How can the police find the guy who allegedly shot a traffic light camera three times at 2 a.m. in Knoxville Tennessee, but still don’t know who shot Tupac on the Las Vegas strip in front of countless witnesses?  There really is no justice in the world.

Before any of the anti-gun nuts start asking for bans on .30-06 rifles, let’s remember…

Guns don’t take photos of your car and send you expensive traffic tickets in the mail…RED LIGHT CAMERAS DO.

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How Sad Is It That This Makes Me Happy?

The KNS reports that Scott Moore would like to repeal the $30 wheel tax in Knox County.

“In times of a slow economy, we ought to be able to help our citizens and put some money back in their pockets,” Moore said this morning as commission’s Intergovernmental and Finance committees began meeting.

It is also wise to put money back in the citizens’ pockets when their county government is a mess and they have little faith in it.

Regardless, I’m can’t help but be happy when our overlords graciously offer to return money to the people who earned it.

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Ron Paul in Local Press

The local (Knoxville) Ron Paul meetup group was featured in the KNS today.

I feed guilty that I have not been to a single event that the meetup group works. I really need to correct that. I’m on their mailing list and keep up, but just haven’t made it out. However, one cool thing about Dr. Paul’s campaign and his supporters is that it is grassroots, so there are many ways to contribute, one of which is writing a post or two here every now and then.

Or maybe I’m just rationalizing.

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Three Things I Haven’t Let Go

When I first got hit with this meme by BillyMac, I thought the topic was “3 Things I Wouldn’t Let Go”. That one would be pretty easy–family, health, and some other random item.

But this is “3 Things You Haven’t Let Go”, which has a much different conotation. Maybe I’m inferring it incorrectly, and it’s vague enough for interpretation, but I take this as “3 Things I Haven’t Let Go (but probably should)”. Believe it or not, this is a part of my character I’ve really worked on over the past few years. I’ve really tried to develop “the ability to let that which does not matter truly go.” Despite my best efforts, I still have plenty options. After all, I am powered by spite.

Spite CanAs I’m trying to narrow it down to the top three, I’m realizing how much I don’t want to admit any of this publicly. It’s not the fear of baring my soul that’s holding me back–it’s the realization of how stupid they all are. All instances of forgiven, but not forgotten. In order of increasing ridiculousness on my part…

Las Vegas August, 2005
I was going out for a weekend with about 15 other guys. Soon after booking my ticket I saw that there were UFC fights that weekend, so I asked some other guys if they wanted to go. I could only buy eight tickets, and as soon as seven other guys said they were in, I bought 8 together. $100 per ticket before all the taxes and charges. Not a problem–these guys are all local and they all have jobs. I’ll get my money back this week, right? Wrong. But that’s not the worst part. Literally thirty minutes before the fights I met up with the final two guys who owed me for their tickets. They walked up with two other guys who I didn’t know, paid me for the tickets, and turned around and sold them for $200 each to the other guys right in front of me! Chuck Liddell is lucky he didn’t have to fight me that night.

Summer 1993
I was living in a dump of a house in Ft. Sanders with two other guys–$300 rent. We split the electric and basic phone service evenly, but if anyone had long distance calls they had to pay it themselves. The month he moved out, one of my roommates had $37 worth of long distance calls to his girlfriend in California. By the time the bill came, he was gone, and the other guy and I had to eat it. Sure, not a lot of money, but at the time it was, and besides it’s the principle. I never got the money back from him, but I did hit him in the back with a folding chair (part of the height of my pro-wrestling obsession) in Long Branch one night when he was playing pool. Surprisingly, it didn’t make me feel any better.

St. Patrick’s Day Rugby Tournament, Savannah Georgia, 2000
We had a pretty solid team, and were scheduled for a Sunday morning match. Of course we’d all gone out on and had fun on Saturday night. At game time on Sunday, we only had 12 guys there. We started the match shorthanded, and when the other guys finally rolled up, I was infuriated. I didn’t even want them to come into the game–my preference was to take an ass kicking and let them sit and watch it. After the match (we lost) I refused to shake their hands. I love all of those guys, but I haven’t let the fact that they didn’t show up for us that morning go. I could have stayed in Knoxville if all I wanted to do was drink beer and not play rugby. Under certain conditions and in the presence of certain people, this one still sends me into a mild rage.

See the common thread here? All cases of being let down by friends. So I guess that is my biggest pet peeve? Possibly.

Up next are:
SVD
Ivy
Taylor–fingers crossed she’ll relate this to public education

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(Hopefully Short) Life In Prison

From the KNS

A Knox County sports referee who used his position to lure child molestation victims into his home will die in prison.

Hopefully this death will be administered by the most sadistic son of a bitch in the penal system. Bonus points if it occurs within the first week, lessening this walking fart’s burden on the taxpayers.

Good riddance.

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There Should Be A Law

For those of you who are not yet convinced of the dangers of smoking and have not yet written your state representative a letter of thanks for deciding on your behalf which private businesses can allow smoking, this story should change your mind.

In the vehicle they inhaled fumes from a can of compressed air normally used to blow dust from computers or photographs.
…
When one of the women lit a cigarette in the vehicle, the fumes ignited, burning the couple, DeBusk said.

This could have been avoided. All we need to do is outlaw smoking in private vehicles. That way people will be forced to either step outside of the vehicle to smoke after huffing, or will be compelled to huff outside so that they can smoke immediately.

We must do everything within our legislative power to make huffing safe….for the children!

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Barbie Cummings Trooper Indicted

The KNS tells us that former Tennessee State Trooper who received a favor from Knoxville based porn star Barbie Cummings will be prosecuted, even though the work she performed was pro bono…

James Randy Moss turned himself in to Wilson County authorities in Middle Tennessee this morning to face a sealed indictment on charges of official misconduct, tampering with evidence and official oppression.

I’m a little surprised that Barbie Cummings doesn’t still have her blog going, or if she does I can’t find it. She really could have made a big splash with this story if she’d played it right. I thought from the beginning it was just a clever stunt on her part to get her name out–no such thing as bad press, right?

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Who Really Posted The Photos?

Driving in to work this morning, I heard Melinda England’s boyfriend, Josh Pinkinton (sp?) in an interview with Hallerin Hilton Hill. According to him, the photos of the Inskip Elementary School teacher weren’t posted on her MySpace page, but on his page. He also claimes that England’s ex-husband is the person who contacted the media with the story, and the facts were subsequently botched by WVLT.

Interesting.

I can understand his wanting to defend her, especially if so many facts of the story were wrong, left out, or confused. Still, I think it may be a mistake to go to the media to try to straighten this out. It was almost dead…just let it die.