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I’m Looking for Some Yaz…You Holding?

I meant to write about this a couple of weeks ago the first time I saw the commercial for Yaz birth control pills.

“Yaz” doesn’t sound like a reputable birth control product to me. It sounds like the street name for some highly addictive substance made from processing kerosene, roach killer, and cotton candy.

These pharmacutical ads are getting more and more ridiculous every day. The one for Yaz has a crew of good looking women at a club talking about the side effects of birth control pills. While this is probably more common than I am aware, there’s no way they could hold this conversation for more than 45 seconds without some guy overhearing and wanting in on the discussion. More than likely, he just got out of the Viva Viagra commercial and is all revved up.

Seen that one? A bunch of guys sitting around singing “Viva Viagra”. It looks to me like they are holed up in some clandestine barn, where they’ve been crushing Viagra pills, cooking it up in a spoon, and shooting it. They pass the time waiting for it to hit them by singing a parody of an Elvis song. As soon as they are “feeling it”, they walk out of the barn high-fiving each other and get into their own separate vehicles. They’ll all end up in the same part of town ten minutes later looking for hookers, or irritating the young professional women in the Yaz commercial.

But I digress. Luckily, the costs to produce these low-grade SNL skits is passed along to consumers who are not afforded the ability to buy meta-recreational pharmacuticals over the counter. Getting laid these days may require a trip to the doctor and a prescription.

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Webkinz–Who Knew?

It seems like the frenzy may not have fully hit Knoxville/East Tennessee yet, but I think a full blown Webkinz craze may be coming. It may actually already exist here, but I was unaware of it. I am admittedly out of touch with what is “cool” with young kids, and I have been for quite a while. I know of, but am not completely knowledgeable about Thomas the Train and Dora the Explorer, but I had never even heard of Webkinz until this weekend.

My sister in law and her kids, 10 and 7 years old, are visiting from Florida, and they were super excited the other day after they got home from Dollywood. Not because of the rides they rode, but because of the huge selection of Webkinz that were available for purchase there.

I got a quick rundown from them about Webkinz, and it actually sounds like a pretty cool idea. It is a pretty simple concept, and is completely viral in terms of web use and marketing.

First, you buy a Webkinz plush toy. This toy comes with a code that you enter online where you then adopt and name a virtual version of this “pet”. You get to build a room for your virtual pet, then participate in all sorts of activities online that allow you to build up virtual cash to buy more cool things for your pet.

If you are like me and had not heard of Webkinz before, look out. It seems to be the latest thing, and I actually get why.

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Margie Loyd Victim of Discrimination?

What?

From WBIR:

The cruise, Isaacs explained, was intended to only hold the reservation the P-card. He said Isaacs immediately notified the finance department and reimbursed the county.

I think that should read “Loyd immediately notified…”

How exactly was this discrimination? At what place of employment are you allowed to steal borrow money to take a cruise, pay it back after you get caught, then keep your job?

The lobster dinner–okay I can see how she was maybe doing as she was told there, but c’mon!

Now that the old loyalties are apparently broken, there’s a good chance the gloves are about to come off. My guess is that we’ll hear a lot more in the coming weeks about how Knox County gov’ment actually operates, and more heads will roll.

It is entertaining and sad at the same time.

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Blogger’s Union

As nuts as it may sound, some are trying to do it. Michael Silence has this to say:

In a move that might make some people scratch their heads, a loosely formed coalition of left-leaning bloggers are trying to band together to form a labor union they hope will help them receive health insurance, conduct collective bargaining or even set professional standards.

This is actually the first union I’ve ever heard of that I think is a good idea. Maybe by forming and joining this inevitable disaster, these left-leaning bloggers will realize what a ridiculous idea it is. It may be the only way they ever get it through their thick skulls.

Then again, that didn’t really work with liberal talk radio did it? Instead of realizing that their product didn’t appeal to the market, they instead tried to blame the market for not desiring their product.

**UPDATE**
I thought of other benefits…

Based on the tendency of unions to discourage actual work, the end result will be that they will blog less. Everybody wins!

Think about it, no blogging on weekends, holidays, or after hours. Not to mention the frequent and extended breaks they will take while actually “working”. This idea sounds better and better the more I think about it.

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Indecent Exposure in Tyson Park

So they are arresting people for this?

Luckily for many readers of this blog, they have never been nude in the vicinity of Tyson Park. Furthermore, I do not have first hand knowledge or photographic evidence of this behavior that didn’t occur. Even if I did, I’d never hold it over their heads in order to get free meals or enlarge the photographs in order to embarrass them in a bar full of people.

Seriously, there is a little more to this story than WBIR is reporting. I’d wager that the young man in question was not skinny-wading in the polluted waters of Third Creek.

He was probably minding his own business in his vehicle, which was backed into a parking spot.

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Great-Grandmothers, Tact, and Spanking

I had a conversation with a really nice lady while waiting outside at the OB’s office yesterday. I would have never guessed her as a great-grandmother if she hadn’t told me she was there with her granddaughter who had a 10 month old baby.

We talked about a lot of things having to do with kids, and of course she gave me some parenting advice. She’d obviously had a lot of practice in giving advice without seeming like she was giving advice, and I even though I picked up on what she was doing, I appreciated the fact that she made an effort to disguise it.

The point is, I knew what she was driving at, and actually appreciated what she had to say.

Her main point was that we shouldn’t hesitate to spank when needed. Of course, she didn’t come right out and say this. She gave a couple of anecdotes about kids misbehaving in the store, at the doctor’s office (hint, hint to the other lady waiting with her 3 year old), and at church. She followed that up by saying that she was sure that my parents had spanked me when I needed it, and look at what a nice young man I’d turned out to be.

Well, at least she was half right. 😛

I’m down with spanking. No doubt about it.

Luckily for Becky, she doesn’t have to question herself on spanking. She has plenty of other people to question it for her.

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New Theme…Sorry for Any Issues

Please be patient over the next couple of days if things get really screwed up when you’re trying to view this site. I’m going through my first attempt at developing a WordPress theme, and I’m sure there are plenty of things I’ve missed and will change.

I’ve done a few things that I hope will make this site more convenient for the regular readers and a little more organized and easy to navigate for new readers. Most of these changes are due to some really good information I’ve gotten from sites like Copy Blogger and things that I like/dislike when browsing around myself:

* Larger text for posts
* Moved to a “double wide” single column in the left margin so you don’t have to look between two columns to get to the meaty content
* Separated colors for content columns from navigation/ad columns to make the content stand out a little more.
* Integrated Google Ads into the site a little better. Hopefully this will not only make the site flow more easily for regular readers, but result in a better CTR for new visitors.
* New graphics for comments, header, etc.

Please let me know if you guys see anything I’ve overlooked (I’m sure there’s plenty) or anything you’d like to see done differently!

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Latest from the Tour de Dope

For the second straight day the stage winner has been booted from the race, this time by his own team. Michael Rasmussen was sent home by Rabobank for violating team rules.

I know most people in the U.S. don’t care about the Tour now that Lance Armstrong has retired, but I can’t help it. I love to sit on the couch and watch these ‘roided out oxygen-doped-blood junkies pedal up the mountain as drunk Europeans run naked in front of them, basking in the glory of socialized health care and 35 hour work weeks.

This new twist puts American Levi Leipheimer only 2:49 seconds behind the new race leader, Alberto Contador. But time is not what matters the most here.

With four stages left, that means that four more leaders are likely to get hit with doping charges. If Leipheimer can position himself into 5th place at the end of tomorrow’s stage, he has a good chance of the winner of tomorrow’s stage being disqualified along with the three winners of the next three stages, and he will sneak away with a Tour victory.

Then we can get another year of European complaints about how the Tour is rigged for Americans to win.

Let’s just hope the rest of the world doesn’t catch up to us in our ability to beat drug tests by next July.

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You Won’t Believe This

Another great cyclist has been disqualified from this year’s Tour de France for blood doping. Alexandre Vinokourov tested positive for doping after he won Saturday’s time trial. If you haven’t been keeping up with the Tour, he looked like an amateur during Sunday’s stage, only to come back and tear the field to shreds on Monday’s mountain stage.

I don’t mean to be cynical–okay, I guess I do mean to be cynical–but almost all of these guys cheat. You have to be nuts to think they don’t. I really shouldn’t be news to anyone when they get caught, it just means they failed to outsmart the latest tests.

In other breaking news you may find shocking…

Professional wrestlers use steroids.
Barry Bonds too.
The gov’ment wastes a lot of your tax dollars.
There isn’t a pill that can make you safely lose weight.
Breathing smoke on purpose is bad for you.
Bill Gates doesn’t send out checks to people for forwarding emails.
That guy in Africa who emailed you about the unclaimed money…he’s a scam artist.

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Smoking Era Ends in Neyland Stadium

The KNS reports that smoking will no longer be allowed inside the gates of Neyland Stadium. For a long while, it has been allowed in the concourse only.

This is the most limiting, err progressive, step forward for the University of Tennessee since it became a dry campus back in 19whenever. Based on the success of limiting alcohol on campus and inside the stadium, I’m sure this new ban on smoking will be a success as well.

Is this just a ploy by the athletic department to raise the value of the luxury boxes? As a result of the ban, those who watch the game from luxury boxes will now be forced to tote their Marlboros and Macanudos into the stadium on Friday afternoons along with their SoCo and cold beer.