You Won’t Believe This

Another great cyclist has been disqualified from this year’s Tour de France for blood doping. Alexandre Vinokourov tested positive for doping after he won Saturday’s time trial. If you haven’t been keeping up with the Tour, he looked like an amateur during Sunday’s stage, only to come back and tear the field to shreds on Monday’s mountain stage.

I don’t mean to be cynical–okay, I guess I do mean to be cynical–but almost all of these guys cheat. You have to be nuts to think they don’t. I really shouldn’t be news to anyone when they get caught, it just means they failed to outsmart the latest tests.

In other breaking news you may find shocking…

Professional wrestlers use steroids.
Barry Bonds too.
The gov’ment wastes a lot of your tax dollars.
There isn’t a pill that can make you safely lose weight.
Breathing smoke on purpose is bad for you.
Bill Gates doesn’t send out checks to people for forwarding emails.
That guy in Africa who emailed you about the unclaimed money…he’s a scam artist.

Smoking Era Ends in Neyland Stadium

The KNS reports that smoking will no longer be allowed inside the gates of Neyland Stadium. For a long while, it has been allowed in the concourse only.

This is the most limiting, err progressive, step forward for the University of Tennessee since it became a dry campus back in 19whenever. Based on the success of limiting alcohol on campus and inside the stadium, I’m sure this new ban on smoking will be a success as well.

Is this just a ploy by the athletic department to raise the value of the luxury boxes? As a result of the ban, those who watch the game from luxury boxes will now be forced to tote their Marlboros and Macanudos into the stadium on Friday afternoons along with their SoCo and cold beer.

Overheard at the Hospital

I just returned to the hospital from running a couple of errands, and I came in through the cafeteria entrance, which has a nice outdoor dining area. There was a group of people unpacking their cooler (white bread, baloney, mayonnaise, and Lay’s potato chips) and I overhead the following statement:

“He’s got four warrants out, owes $14,000 in back child support, and he ain’t even lookin’ for a job.”

That’s funny.

Have you ever noticed that most of the people at the hospital look really unhealthy? I don’t mean the people that are in the hospital, I mean the people visiting. There are tons of overweight people (haha), and most of them are standing outside smoking. I’m not talking about heavy people–I could lose a few pounds myself. I’m talking about really obese people puffing away. It makes you wonder if the people they are there to visit are there mostly because they share a similar lifestyle.


Worse than the friends and family doing this outside are the nurses.

Is this what our money would go to support with nationalized health care? It’s no more fair for them to chip in and pay for my knee surgery because I chose to play a collision sport with a bunch of 20 year old kids than it is for me to chip in to pay for their health problems due to their lifestyle.

Baby Born…Finally!

Not that I had to carry her around for 9 months or anything, but the last two days of waiting weren’t very fun. But healthy is all you can ask for, and that’s what we got, so of course we are very happy!

Of course, posts will be less than the regular infrequency for the next few days, but I hope to make it worth the wait with a scathing rant on the infant car seat racket. I’m saving that one for coming home day.

Again?!

No baby again today–I guess a sick doctor with an I.V. is not the ideal situation for having babies.

Here’s something good to look at in the meantime–TOMS shoes. It is a pretty simple idea. You buy a pair of shoes, and another pair are donated to a child on your behalf. The shoes are pretty cheap, and you are buying a great story while helping someone else out.

Take a look!

Turned Away at the Hospital

🙁

Today was supposed to be the birthday, but our doctor was ill (translation: extremely tired from being on call and working all weekend), so we had to reschedule for tomorrow. I’m sure she would have gone ahead with today, but the hospital was expecting us at noon, not 8 am, and I’m sure shed didn’t want to wait around.

Getting turned away at the hospital wasn’t all that bad, but being turned away at 5:50 am was worse. Tomorrow we’re scheduled for the afternoon, so at least we get to sleep in.

This Week on The Dukes of Newport

Revenuers come to Hazzard, err, Newport to investige a mini-casino, cock fighting, and moonshine production that is all being orchestrated by Boss Hogg under the protection of the ultimate dirty cop–Roscoe P. Coaltrain.

Of course, Boss Hogg and Roscoe try to pin it all on Bo and Luke. Enos, a pawn in their game, is forced to arrest the Duke boys. Luckily, Uncle Jesse and Cooter are able to give Daisy a ride to the jail, where she is able to distract Enos. This gives Bo and Luke just enough time to get Flash to bring them the keys to the jail, climb into the General Lee, jump a creek where the bridge is out, beat up Boss’s cronies and turn them over to the revenuers and the state police from Capital City.

Of course, Boss Hogg denies all knowledge of the vice operations, and gives all of the money confiscated to the Cocke County orphanage. Then everyone gathers down at the Boar’s Nest, where Loretta Lynn sings one song in exchange for having a bogus speeding ticket ripped up.

Sometimes I scratch my head and wonder why everyone thinks we are all stupid rednecks.

***UPDATE***
They also shot some arrows with dynamite taped to them. The Duke boys aren’t allowed to have guns because of previous convictions for running shine, so they are forced to use dyanamite instead.

Lobster for Lunch in Knox County

KNS has the story about our mayor’s executive administrative assistant, a commissioner, and an unknown third party feasting on $37.98 each lobster tails, then grabbing a couple more to go, for pre-tip bill of $198.56, Luckily for the taxpayers (I guess), they basically stiffed the waiter, only tipping him $29 (14.6%).

Frugality and class! So the total bill was $227.56–FOR LUNCH.

Good thing we had a 100% increase in our wheel tax a couple of years ago (hope you are enjoying the new library).

“Clearly, while we consider business meals legitimate expenses, we certainly feel that expense was excessive,” Norwood said.

See, that’s the problem. County government is not a business. Businesses sell products and services to customers on the free market. In business, customers have a choice to buy from someone else or not to buy at all. The business then has a choice on how it spends this money and is accountable to shareholders.

“While we can’t tell our guests what to order,” Norwood said, “we discourage people from ordering unusually expensive meals.”

Obviously.

Whoops, Sorry About That

So yesterday I got around to subscribing to my own RSS feed and realized that I’ve been sending out summary only posts to the feed, requiring readers to actually visit the site to get the full post. To those of you who have been kind enough to do so, sorry about that–nothing annoys me more than partial posts on a feed I actually chose to subscribe to.

Also, I’ll apologize in advance to all of those poor souls who will be subjected to the full extent of my illiteracy now that full posts will appear in the feed.

Happy Cost of Government Day!

Doug Mataconis points us to the report by Americans for Tax Reform that declares today the day of economic liberty in the United States. That’s right–beginning today, and every day for the rest of this year, every dollar you make actually belongs to you! This is very exciting. It’s a Festivus miracle!!!

It now only takes a little over half a year’s worth of work to pay your share of the bountiful gifts of government. Here are just a few examples of the wonderful things you have earned from your toils this year alone:

Failing education for all the kids in your neighborhood, whether you have any or not

A nation building project, err “war” that you probably don’t support

Housing for homeless alcoholics (offer good for Seattle residents only)

A fat pension for your former sheriff (Knox County residents only)

Substandard healthcare for wounded servicemen

A bankrupt government pension retirement fund–a.k.a. socialist security

Countless government subsidies for private industries–a.k.a. corporate welfare

Good job! I think you deserve a raise!!!

Mataconis:

The idea that Americans should have to work more than half the year to pay for the state should be offensive to anyone. Instead we all just seem to blindly accept it.